


Give Me Something

by rc1788



Series: Somewhere Only We Know [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Stucky - Freeform, stucky fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 07:03:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7350805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rc1788/pseuds/rc1788
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a few months since Bucky left Wakanda and decided to start working through some stuff. He lives with Steve for a while in Brooklyn until they decide to go ahead and move into the Avengers Compound.</p><p>“Anything you need to talk about?” Steve asks. He won’t let go.</p><p>The dark room loomed with shadows, but Steve is right there, and Bucky rests the side of his face on his friend’s firm shoulder. “No.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give Me Something

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a collection of shorts I wrote and didn't really know what to do with! They tie-in with my [other story](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6901684/chapters/15745471), but can stand alone, too. c:
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://misterbuckyrogers.tumblr.com) for all of your stucky feel needs.

Avengers Compound, New York  
James Barnes's Quarters  
0300 Hours

Someone was yelling.

It’s him.

Bucky sits up in bed and catches his breath, hoarse. The light is still on in his room, his phone rolled off his lap and onto the blanket beside him. He looks at the time. 0300. His hand stretches to turn off the lamp and freezes. No, better leave it on. His hand finds instead a bottle of water, and he sips from it, stares straight ahead of him at the blank TV screen. The reflection of a dark-haired man and bright chrome looks back at him.

Next door, Steve is nestled into his own bed, asleep on his back and holding a pillow in one of his arms. Bucky shuts the door behind him and stands watching the rise and fall of Steve’s chest until a voice shakes him.

“That you, Buck?”

“Yeah.”

Steve lifts his head and his bright eyes follow Bucky as he crosses the room and sits beside him on the bed. “What’s the matter?”

A dream was nothing. Only a partial truth meant to scare him. His own mind had been made his enemy, and he had to fight, even when he was asleep. The fear is very real. Real because he had felt it--because he dreamed he was _falling, falling, falling_. Bucky shakes his head.

“Talk to me.”

Bucky looks down at his mismatched hands. Lifting them, he covers his face and hears himself make a sound that must have been a sob. He can’t breathe without making that sound. His vision blurs as tears well up and spill onto his cheeks.

“Bucky.” He feels Steve’s arm wrap around his shoulder. “It’s okay.”

The tears don’t stop, and there’s a pain in his face like he’s been hit. Steve’s other arm encircles him, scoops him up into his lap. Bucky’s senses fill with the scent of Steve’s soap, the way Steve’s arms secure him against his broad chest. Bucky concentrates on staying right there, with Steve holding him, on a bed that is too soft and too warm.

They stay in the embrace for what feels like hours until Bucky can breathe normally again.  His face was pressed into Steve’s bare shoulder. When he lifts his head, he quickly smears the tears off of Steve’s skin. “Gross,” he mutters.

“Anything you need to talk about?” Steve asks. He won’t let go.

The dark room loomed with shadows, but Steve is right there, and Bucky rests the side of his face on his friend’s firm shoulder. “No.”

\---

“I don’t like it here.”

Steve looks up from the journal in his lap. The TV is showing a detective show marathon and Bucky watches from Steve’s bed with his knees pulled up to his chest.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks. He looked about ready to close his book, pack, and leave.

“I don’t like living with everybody. There’s never any orange juice.”

“Orange juice?”

“Sam drinks all of it.”

“I get it. We’re an eccentric bunch. But really? The orange juice is what’s bothering you?”

“I don’t belong here. I’m not one of you. I'm not a hero.”

Steve sets his journal on the desk, stands, and moves between Bucky and the TV.  He bends over Bucky and puts his hands on either side of the bed. “That’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. It’s the truth. I’ve never done anything heroic in my whole life. And don’t say the train.”

“What about the time you climbed a tree to get Suzy’s cat?”

Bucky unfolds his legs and really wants to kick Steve. “That doesn’t count.”

“What about the time you gave me your lunch money?”

“So the five hundred times I did that makes me an Avenger.” Bucky smiles. This is his fake smile, the one he uses when he makes a joke--good or bad. Steve knows this smile, and he smacks Bucky on the side of the head like he used to do when Bucky annoyed him.

Bucky’s metal hand catches Steve’s wrist, yanks him away. Steve almost loses his balance and puts his hands up. “Buck--I’m sorry--”

 _Soldat_.

Bucky rolls off the bed and heads for the door. Steve calls for him as he races down the hall to his own room. He locks the door. Steve’s already there, knocking. “I didn’t mean to--”

“I know, Steve.” Bucky feels only a little safer with the door between them. His eyes squeeze shut. _Steve Rogers. That’s Steve. Stevie_. “I _know_.”

“It won’t happen again. I promise.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Can I come in?”

“I don’t think you should be around me.” Bucky rests his head against the door and shoves the image of what Steve’s face must have looked like out of his mind. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Buck, c’mon, you didn’t hurt me. You don’t have to punish yourself.”

The fist he used to smash Steve’s face in on the helicarrier was gone, but the one that replaced it could be just as dangerous. _I’m no better than the bullies_. “I’m just tired, Steve.”

“If you don't tell me what's going on, I can't help you, and--you know I hate being helpless.”

“Yeah. You turn into a dick.” Bucky swallows back the rising bile. His eyes go out of focus and he was somewhere far away and cold. “They used to hit me.”

“Buck." Steve is hurt. Bucky wills him to leave, but he won't, and Bucky doesn't want him to. "Please let me in.”

 _Soldat_ was still in his head. And he didn’t need the words to take over. Bucky clenches his fists and a shiver races down his back. If he let Steve in, he put him at risk. What if their friendship couldn't always break the cycle? What if something brought back the Soldier and Bucky never escaped?

He thinks about his lonely apartment in Bucharest, about lying to Steve when he said he didn't remember anything. Steve’s heart broke in front of him when he did that. Maybe he'd thought it was safer to lie. Maybe Steve wouldn't have gotten mixed up in all of this, or misled into thinking Bucky was still Bucky.

“I need to know if you’re okay,” Steve pleads.

More than anything, Bucky wants to let Steve in. His hand hovers over the lock. _But what if_ ? The question turned over and over in his mind. He could hurt someone. He could hurt Steve. But he had to let Steve in, so that he wasn’t alone anymore. _Selfish_.

Bucky unlocks the door and opens it. Steve bursts into his room. Bucky did it again--Steve looks down at him with those blue eyes, patience concealing a helpless sorrow that Bucky knows is his fault.

Gently, Steve takes Bucky’s face in his hands. He places a kiss on the top of Bucky’s head.

“You're _my_ hero,” Steve says, his face hovering near Bucky’s.

“Shit.” Tears threaten at the corners of his eyes for an entirely different reason. He sniffs. Then he presses his lips against Steve’s and kisses him, hard. Steve’s lips don’t respond at first, just go all limp, and Bucky pulls back with a crinkle in his brow. “That line was corny. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Doesn't make it any less true.” Steve’s voice is low and a little husky, and he still holds Bucky’s face in his hands.

Bucky leans away from him, embarrassed, still not sure if he should allow himself to be this close to Steve, or to anyone. “I kinda wanted to see what happens in that show…”

“Oh.” Steve lets go of him, the drop in his voice having _disappointment_ written all over it.

“Or…” Bucky bites down on his bottom lip.

A smile lights Steve’s face anew, and he and lifts Bucky’s chin. “Do over?”


End file.
